Tall Tales from the Pregnant Male

Men – when it comes to pregnancy and labour – they do try don’t they…

My poor husband had a ‘condition’ during my 4 pregnancies – called Couvade (named from the French verb couver, to hatch or brood) which causes sympathetic pregnancy symptoms. It’s sort of cute for about two days and then it’s a real nuisance, and great excuse for avoiding all sorts of things.

It is a real and documented phenomenon actually, when otherwise healthy men whose partners are expecting babies experience pregnancy related symptoms. While some research suggests that couvade might be common, it isn’t a recognized mental illness or disease. Further studies are needed to determine whether couvade is a physical condition with psychological or other causes. There are also studies suggesting that men who have deep empathy toward their pregnant partner are more likely to experience it – isn’t that sweet!

Symptoms reported to be associated with couvade vary and typically occur only during the first and third trimesters of pregnancy. They may be physical or emotional such as, nausea, heartburn, abdominal pain, bloating, appetite changes (an excuse to stuff themselves or request special treats?) leg cramps, backaches, mood swings and insomnia. However, there is some interesting science behind hormonal factors that may trigger these symptoms in men.

In our house convade hit within a few days of me becoming nauseated with my pregnancies, around 6 weeks. My husband drags himself in the door after work feeling queasy and weak and lies down on the floor and that’s where he stayed for hours! This could go on for weeks and he became worse with each pregnancy. I generally vomit during pregnancy so it doesn’t help that I’m actually very ill and miserable and have to be on a number of medications to get some relief and avoid being hospitalized, our mutual misery is inescapable! One day after work he recalls staggering out of the car already feeling ill himself, only to be greeted by the sound of not just me being sick in the house but the cat as well (poor disturbed puss). “It’s not like I can ring my boss and tell him I need days off for my morning sickness” he would explain.

After months of this carry on things would eventually settle down until it was time to give birth. For me labor begins with menstrual type cramps and goes downhill from there but each birth became worse than the one before for my poor husband, so by baby number 4 I had his birth plan primed and ready to go! This meant my dear BFF took on his role as support person so dear hubby could retreat to a fetal position on the couch in the birthing room.

Being a nurse I had a carefully thought out medication regime for him, starting with Panadol followed by codeine phosphate once he was in established labour. By the time I was fully dilated and in transition he was in a bad way groaning and grimacing, so much so that I saw my concerned midwife eyeing up the gas as a way to put him out of his misery.

Alas his experience of ‘Couvade’s didn’t go as far as breast development and lactation, which would have had its benefits, he could have done the night feeds! Though I doubt he would have woken from them as he could ‘sleep like a baby’ himself – claiming not to have heard a thing all night while I was up and down with the new baby. He would eagerly describe to sympathetic visitors that he was exhausted and had never been so tired in his life.

My girlfriends were very impressed with the extent of his devotion and see him as the epitome of caring and empathy but their men folk are a little less understand of his ordeal often muttering ‘what a lot of nonsense’.

Joking aside, I count myself very fortunate to have had such a devoted and helpful husband during my pregnancies and through the new-born phase.

Compiled by Janferie Dewar – Baby & Beyond Sleep Consultant, Registered Nurse and Breastfeeding Educator